I feel so inadequate today. I feel like I am letting my children down. I feel like an awful mother.
I am so sick and exhausted right now that I can hardly function, much less take care of my family. I hate this feeling. I am so incredibly thankful to be pregnant – and oddly at the same time – I’m thankful that I’m feeling so awful because it tells me that our baby is doing well. But this is hard. Very hard. And I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few weeks. My symptoms don’t usually get better until 12 weeks or so. I’m 6 weeks now. Six more weeks. I am in tears now thinking about the fact that my husband won’t be home until Friday morning. I have to get through tonight and tomorrow all by myself again.
Nathan came up to me today and said “Mom, I miss you playing with me.”
Honey, I miss playing with you too. I really do.
I didn’t even do school with Nathan today. I was too nauseous and exhausted to focus enough. I let him play on the computer and watch tv.
I feel like such an awful mother…
Oh please don’t think I’m complaining. I’m not. I’m so incredibly thankful for this gift the Lord has given us. But I am so tired. And I feel so alone right now. I was too sick and tired to go to the mom’s Bible study on Tuesday. We didn’t go to church on Sunday because Nate was leaving that afternoon and we decided to have some family time instead.
Please pray that the Lord gives me strength, especially in these last couple of days that Nate is away.
On a good note, I’m 6 weeks and 3 days today. Praise the Lord!