I am so discouraged right now.
Nate finished fixing the last part of his car this afternoon and went to turn on the car to test it out. The car wouldn’t start. Long story short, it appears that there is now a major problem with the engine – either the engine is cracked or (best case scenario I guess) is a blown head gasket (I think, I’m not good with car ‘terms.’) Either way, it’s expensive (no way we could afford to have it done by a mechanic – we’re talking thousands here – the car isn’t even worth that) and incredibly difficult and time consuming if Nate were to tackle the job. And still quite expensive.
We’re not sure what to do. Try to fix the Taurus or cut our losses and attempt to buy a cheap “junk” car for Nate to use. We just don’t have the money to buy a decent “reliable” car right now. If we can just get something to work for another year, then we’ll have the money to buy him a better car. The problem is we keep sinking money time and time again into our Ford Taurus and it’s getting to where we’re wondering if it’s worth it. We’ve had every problem from relatively simple (although ended up being complicated) issues like wheel bearing (again I think that’s the term) problems to the transmission completely going bad 2 years ago (Dad & Nate replaced it themselves and it still cost $2k.) This car has been nothing but repair after repair. We estimated that it’s cost us a minimum of $200 a month in repairs AFTER we finished paying it off a couple years ago. Is it worth it to continue? But then again if we bought another cheap used car, there would be potential repairs there too…. We’re not sure.
I’m discouraged. Regardless of what route we take, it will probably be at least a couple of weeks if not a month or so until I have my van back. (Nate has to use it for work.) I felt like I was going crazy by the end of this past week without having my car. Not that I would have gone out, but having no choice – to have no choice but to stay home is hard. I’ve been stuck at home for the past 2 months anyways because of feeling so sick from this pregnancy. I feel like I’m just now starting to come out of that and now I’m forced to stay home again. I had been so excited to get back into church activities – to attend the Mom’s Tuesday morning Bible studies that I so desperately love & need right now. To fellowship with other Christian moms – I need that so much right now. And now, that’s out the window. I know God has a plan and a reason for this, but I feel like saying “WHY?!” It has taken us a while to find a good church and we finally have. And I am finally trying to reach out and make new friends and now this. (I’m shy – that isn’t it easy for me.) I am so sad.
Again I know God has a reason for this and I am (trying) to trust His will. But it’s hard…
On another note, a good note, I will be 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I’ll be officially out of the 1st trimester and into the blessed 2nd! Thank You, Jesus!
I am still dealing with headaches and some evening queasiness, but other than that I am starting to feel much more “normal.” (If normal includes having to pee every 1/2 hour that is!)