I can just feel that it’s going to be a long day.
I am so tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept hearing Nathan coughing and even though he never came into my room, I slept fitfully knowing my poor little boy wasn’t feeling well. Then I was awoke at 7:30 am by Emily banging on her door and shouting for me. She had pooped in her diaper. Thankfully, she chose to wake me up instead of trying to dispose of it herself.
I can’t find my cellphone either. I brought it upstairs with me last night because I called Nate right before I went to bed. I thought I brought it downstairs this morning, but I can’t find it anywhere. In the chaos of getting up and dealing with various issues, I somehow misplaced it. Not that it would do me any good now. I would love to have a good chat with my mom right now, but she’s away doing something with their debate team. And Nate is impossible to get ahold of lately, muchless talk to him – he’s just so busy. I understand but today is one of those days where I feel like I desperately need some adult interaction to stay sane. The roads are still not very good and with the kids still under the weather, I just can’t take them out. So we are stuck at home again. I am stuck.
I love being a stay at home mom, but today is one of those days where I feel like I just stink at it. I don’t have any patience, the house is messy (it’s actually not terrible but if I had the energy I would do more), I am so SO tired of dealing with runny noses and kids coughing & sneezing on me and of worrying that I’m going to get sick too. My hands are raw because I am washing my hands so much. I just want this week to end….
I discovered why Nathan’s room continues to smell of pee. He had stuffed about 30 slightly wet pull-up’s behind his dresser. We had cleaned his entire room carefully a couple weeks ago – under his bed, his closet, everywhere but behind the dresser (who would have guessed that right?) But there they were. I was NOT happy with that discovery and he did get in trouble. He knows he is supposed to bring any used pull-up’s downstairs and throw them in the diaper pail – certainly not hide them in his room! I’m not sure how long they have been there – they weren’t too gross, so I’m thinking not too terribly long. But long enough. At least I know why his room has smelled though, it was really starting to frustrate me!
I just read another blog post this morning from another mom who discovered some gross smelly things (ie fish bait in a locked box) in her son’s room. She had searched for days trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. Boys and smells just somehow find each other. It’s inevitable. And I am having another boy! Whoopy!
On the other hand, little girls are quite the drama queens at times.
Emily is in the middle of the terrible two’s, combined with missing Daddy & getting over her cold/cough. She’s been a little better than Tuesday (see THAT post) but not much. She has totally worn me out. She loves to refuse to obey. I say “come, we’re reading a Bible story” and she grins at me and runs away. I HAVE to get up and deal with her, but I’d so much rather just sit and ignore her. It is EXHAUSTING!
(Interrupted to deal with another Emily meltdown over some issue she has with Nathan – my goodness the tears!)
Another example: last night after repeated warnings to help me pick up her toys scattered over the floor, she finally did pick up some – Nathan did most of it with me helping and directing. When I started vacuuming my nicely picked up living room, she decided to take a box of wooden blocks and dump them all over the floor. No particular reason other than she felt like it. She didn’t want to play with them. She dumped the box and laughed – and kicked them around to scatter them further. That was one of those moments where I had to stop and pray that God would give me self-control because I felt like I was really going to lose it! When I had calmed myself down somewhat, I told her to pick them up – she said “NO!” and laughed. I was getting so frustrated. It’s getting harder to bend down for me and I was ready to cry.
Then my sweet Nathan got up from the couch and quietly began picking everything up. Without me even having to ask him. I did start crying them. Emily was sent to bed shortly afterwards and I gave Nathan a special cookie treat and told him how much I appreciated him helping me. He didn’t say much – and did get some crumbs on my freshly vacuumed floor (part of his treat was watching a tv show before bed) – but I didn’t care at that point.
This has been such a long week, but God has been good. I have been so encouraged by the actions of my little boy. There are times when I want to pull my hair out over things he does – or doesn’t do. And then all of a sudden, a time comes – like this week – where he just really steps up. Even though he’s been sick since Tuesday, he has helped me with Emily, helped me pick up, helped me with the dog. And he’s actually been using his manners without me having to remind him! (Remember this post?) It’s been very encouraging. I think God is using Nathan to remind me that I will be ok, that I can handle having 3 kids (2 boys!) and I’ll be just fine with His help.
Now that I’ve said that, I’m still feeling awfully discouraged. I’m just so tired. Can I go back to bed? Please?