I recently wrote about how I was conflicted with our decision to homeschool and struggling with mommy guilt about it all. That was three weeks ago. And we’ve decided to make the leap from homeschool to public school.
There. I said it. Wow. Public school.
Nate and I have been praying so much about this. We’ve gone back and forth. And in the end, we both feel this is the right decision. We’re enrolling Nathan into our local public school this fall. I’m still going to homeschool Emily; she’s just 5 and will be in kindergarten. I don’t think she’s ready for public school yet. But Nathan is.
I’ve been learning a lot about myself this past year. You could say I’ve been on my own “journey” to healing and discovering who I really am. It hasn’t been easy, but coming out on the other side has been amazing. And this decision is part of that.
I’ve always been afraid of public school. I’m not sure why, except that it’s how I was raised. But as much as I wouldn’t have admitted it before, that was a huge part of the reason why I homeschooled Nathan. That and I put a false guilt-trip on myself in that I felt that I was a bad mom if I didn’t homeschool.
Nate and I met with the principal of our town’s elementary school last week. And you know what? It wasn’t this bad place that I’d mentally made it out to be. It was actually pretty nice. Perfect? No. But homeschooling isn’t perfect either.
The principal was very nice and answered our many questions and gave us a tour. I left feeling really good that Nathan will get a decent education there. Is it the one-on-one attention that I can give him at home? No. But then again, I don’t have the time to do creative art projects or science experiments or music classes that he can get in public school either.
Tomorrow, I’ll be bringing Nathan to the school for placement testing. They’re definitely putting him in fourth grade, but it’s to just get a better idea of where’s he at. I’m totally on board with that, in fact, we requested it. I want the teachers to have everything they need to best work with Nathan.
I’ll miss the time I get with Nathan. I’ll miss the flexibility homeschooling offers. But I know that Nathan is ready. He’ll be fine. He’s at a great age where I feel like we’ve given him a great foundation of education and with the Lord. He knows what’s right and wrong and this is a good time to let him get “out” more. Will there be bumps and tears along the way? Of course. (Especially from me, I’m sure.) But I really feel confident that this is what we need to do.
And wow, do I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. It’s crazy really. I have been weighted down in guilt about this whole matter for so long. This feels great.
Nathan starts school on August 28th. It will be a huge change for our whole family. From homeschool to public school. You can put me right there with the first-time kindergarten moms bawling as their babies leave on the bus. Only my “baby” will be a 9 year old, fourth grader.