I tried to go to my moms’ group at church this morning. That was a miserable failure.
Joshua fussed & cried almost the whole time so I had to stand and rock him and then ended up having to leave the room & pace the halls with him.
Then one of the childcare workers found me and said Nathan had thrown up. Great.
I was ready to leave anyways with the way Joshua was acting.
And now I feel really bad that Nathan may have gotten the other kids sick.
I am so tired of constantly having to soothe Joshua. I am worn out. He is finally sleeping better at night, but I am so tired from caring for him during the day that I am still just as exhausted as a week ago.
Joshua is not colicky- he can be soothed. But he is very needy and I feel like I am constantly running to soothe him. Or if he’s finally asleep, I’m holding my breath and rushing around trying to get things done while I have the chance.
He naps fairly well at home in his crib, but it ends there. If we’re out anywhere – church, the store, karate, a friend’s house – I have to rock him to sleep and walk back and forth. He will not fall asleep in his carseat or anywhere else. And while I am trying to soothe & rock him, he continues to be very fussy for awhile and it can be quite stressful. And unfortunately with two other children who have activities, seeing friends, doing things with church, running errands like oh the grocery store, we have to go out a lot. So I have a fussy cranky baby a lot of the time.
Joshua is by far my hardest baby. It makes me really appreciate how easy Nathan & Emily were. I guess I had to pay my “dues” sometime. 🙁
I am hoping that Joshua will do better after his hernia is fixed. But I’m not counting on it. The surgeon seemed to really think that the hernia wasn’t bothering him that much and this is just how Joshua is. Oh I hope not. I really do. I mean I don’t want to think that my baby is in pain, but it just seems like something is bothering him and if that’s the case, I hope it’s the hernia because that can be fixed. Make sense? Probably not. I’m not really all here right now…
I’m hoping this ends soon because I am at the end of my rope.