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How to Stop Feeling Insecure as a Mom with 5 Simple Tips

By in Caring for Yourself

I was compensated for this post. All opinions are my own.

Motherhood is enough to make even the most confident woman feel insecure. Remember that no one is perfect. Here's 5 simple tips to help you stop feeling insecure as a mom. this idea now...

Dear fellow Mom, I want you to know you’re not alone.

Motherhood can be one of the most incredible parts of life. Yet it can also be one of the most humiliating experiences. (Doesn’t it sometimes feel like kids live to embarrass us?)

Kids just have a knack for making us turn red. Maybe your newborn has pooped an explosive blow out in the middle of church service and grunted loudly enough to announce to everyone what she was doing. Or your toddler threw a massive tantrum in the middle of the store and all eyes are on you.

Motherhood is enough to bring even the most confident woman down a peg or two and feeling insecure is more common than you might think.

I promise you that even the “popular” mom at preschool drop off who seems to always be surrounded by friends has her own insecurities.

Me? I had low self-esteem and lacked confidence for the longest time. It took me a long time to realize how important it is to do what was right for me and my family without worrying about others. I’m still not immune to insecurity, but I’m learning!

#EndMommyWars

People DO judge. With the rise of social media and constant connection, there’s been a trend toward “Mommy Wars” with other moms pushing their opinions on others because they think they know best. Many moms have good intentions but it can hurt, especially if you’re already feeling insecure.

Girlfriend, we can’t do anything about those people, but we can hold our heads high and choose to not let this bring us down.

I’m part of the Sisterhood of Motherhood group of mom bloggers who are spreading the word about ending the mommy wars. The group met in New York City last week to join a TODAY Parenting Team panel, presented by Sisterhood of Motherhood, with Sheinelle Jones, Jenna Wolfe, and Hilary and Haylie Duff. These moms chimed in with their thoughts about judgmental moms and the “Mommy Wars” and shared some of their own insecurities.

Even these celebrity moms deal with feeling insecurity, whether it’s their post-baby body or how well (or not) their baby is sleeping (Haylie Duff), and even questions over whether they will have another child (Hilary Duff).

Click here to watch highlights from the panel.

Motherhood is enough to make even the most confident woman feel insecure. Remember that no one is perfect. Here's 5 simple tips to help you stop feeling insecure as a mom.

So how can we build up a tougher skin?

How to Stop Feeling Insecure with 5 Simple Tips:

1. Remember that we all have our own paths to walk. No one is the same.

They say you don’t know until you walk a mile in another’s shoes and it’s true.

They don’t know that you’ve struggled with body image issues your whole life and now that you’ve brought a new life into the world, you’re tired, scared, overwhelmed, and you just aren’t ready to face the world yet with your post-baby body and darling newborn. It’s okay.

We don’t all need to raise our kids the exact same way. As individuals, we are all different – why should raising our kids be any different?

2. Remember that there are many aspects to motherhood that we simply can’t control.

It starts with childbirth. We all want an easy delivery with a healthy mom and baby at the end, but how often does “easy” actually happen? Maybe you were blessed to have an amazing home water birth, but you may be one of many moms who labored for hours only to need an emergency c-section. I had four c-sections myself.

I badly wanted to breastfeed my children. But after each pregnancy, I was so exhausted, I could barely function; nursing drained the last remaining bit of energy from my bones. After various amounts of time, I stopped breastfeeding each of my babies and switched to formula. While no one ever made a negative comment to me, I felt inferior to breastfeeding moms. Later I learned I had a chronic health condition that legitimately made it difficult to nurse my babies.

Maybe your insecurity isn’t about how you feed your baby, but it could be that you work outside the home. Or you’re a stay-at-home mom and feel “less” because you don’t “work” like others do. (Girlfriend, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise – staying at home is no easy job and it is WORK!)

3. Remember that no one is perfect.

Even the most intimidating mom who seems to have everything together and endless energy to boot has her flaws. No, don’t try to find them. Just remember that despite appearances, she is NOT perfect. Just like you may not post photos of your messy house, she has something she’s not advertising either.

Sometimes it helps to just keep a little perspective.

4. Remember that we are often our own worst critics.

People are rarely as judgmental as we think. Most people are just trying to help. Yes, someone may be nosy and you don’t need or want their opinion, but they are not trying to make you feel bad about your parenting abilities.

Stop being so critical of yourself and give yourself credit for what you do.

Motherhood is enough to make even the most confident woman feel insecure. Remember that no one is perfect. Here's 5 simple tips to help you stop feeling insecure as a mom.

5. Reach out to another mom.

Share something with another mom and ask about her life. Chances are you’ll find something in common and you’ll be reminded that you’re not that different after all. Yes we all have our own paths to walk and our own stories to tell, but we ALL (at least the vast majority of us) have one thing in common: we love our children dearly and want what is best for them.

Over the 12 years I’ve been a mom (my kids are now ages 4-12), I’ve found that one of the best ways to overcome my own insecurities is to relate to other moms. I always feel better when I do.

 

Dear friend, remember these few simple reminders the next time you’re feeling insecure. Because you are an amazing mom and need to hold your head up high.

Take a sneak peek at the new #EndMommyWars film that’s coming out this October from award-winning director, Cynthia Wade here: #EndMommyWars film

 

Read more here:

 

What can you do to make one mom’s day better?

 

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1 lucky winner will receive a $50 Amazon Gift Card!

This giveaway ends on October 5th, 2015 at 11:59 pm EST.
Open to the US only, ages 18+.
Click here for complete rules and disclosure.

To enter:

1. REQUIRED: Leave a comment telling me what can you do to make one mom’s day better?
2. Subscribe and confirm to the Musings newsletter, then leave me a comment.
3. Pin this post and leave a link to your pin.

 

Disclosure: Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.

 

About Erika

Erika Bragdon is a flower essence practitioner and a second-generation homeschooling mom with 3 kids at home and 1 in college. She enjoys her chickens, goats, and gardening on a small farm in New Hampshire, and is passionate about sharing flower essences and more ways to renew body, mind, and soul with moms.

Comments

  3. Sandy Klocinski says

    Run a couple of errands. Text her the day before you go to the store and ask if you can pick anything up for her: toilet paper, laundry soap, etc.

    Reply

  7. Erin Hussman says

    On Sunday mornings I bring my girlfriend a coffee and paper, I stick around for some chit-chat or while she takes a shower.
    She is a single mom with a busy baby boy.

    Reply

  8. Margaret Smith says

    I often offer to babysit for my friends, so they can do some running around without having to bring the baby with them.

    Reply

  27. Lisa says

    You can give her a break if her child is crying or acting out in public. Sometimes there’s just not much they can do to calm their child.

    Reply

  29. Janet W. says

    One thing I can do to make one mom’s day better is to give them a compliment and tell them what a great job they’re doing as a parent! Mom’s love to hear from other’s about how well behaved their child is, etc.

    Reply

  32. Pamela Gurganus says

    Something I can do to make one mom’s day better is go over to her house, cook dinner for her family and then send her out with her husband or even alone for some time off!

    Reply

  43. Shannon says

    I am not a mom and I don’t know a lot of moms. However I know that they are very critical of themselves because my own mom is this way. She often says “I wish I had done this better” etc etc and I reminded her that she was young when she had us (she was only 16 when she had me) and she did her best. Things that I do to surprise moms and people in general is to send them a card. For her, I will send a card that says something like “Thank you for being my mom!” I really think people overlook how a card can cheer someone up because it is something unexpected and from the heart. I think that they (paper cards) are better than e-cards. They always make them feel better and I don’t listen to my husband anymore when he says not to send them.A lot of times I will write in a joke or a funny memory or even put stickers inside.

    Reply

  45. Tari Lawson says

    I think offering to watch her child for a few hours so she can have some alone time or even just sleep would really help a mom out.

    Reply

  46. Anne klotz says

    I would let her know that I understand. Some moms just need to know that they are not alone. We all have had our shares of ups and downs. We just need to be there for each other instead of constantly putting each other down.

    Reply

  49. Julie Wood says

    I can make a Mom’s day better by babysitting for her. I have done this for my sister and she loves it. Also giving good loving moral support and encouragement is such a good way to help any Mom!

    Reply

  52. addrienne m says

    Just being there to talk is the best way i can think of helping. i didnt have anyone to talk to.. seems everyone gets busy when all you need is a chit chat to get things off your chest.

    Reply

  57. Ty says

    It is always helpful to check on a new mom. I can stop by and tidy up, run errands, and do some chores for my god daughter so that she can relax and enjoy her new baby.

    Reply

  64. hilary e says

    go to a newborn mommy’s house and clean, do dishes, watch the baby while she showers and takes care of herself for a while. Even let her go to the grocery store, if she wants!

    Reply

  68. julie matek says

    I compliment a mom on her parenting skills and let her know that I’ve been through the same thing! That way she doesn”t feel like she’s the only one this is happening to.

    Reply

  70. ashley wood says

    I like to make the special moms in my life day’s better by sending them a little morning hope you have a great day message. It shows them that someone is there and thinking of them always.

    Reply

  79. Crystal F says

    My sister broke her arm so I could help her out by picking up my niece from school. She goes to the same high school that my daughter goes to so it would be easy to do. I know she won’t ask though. She is stubborn. Thank you!

    Reply

  83. Lori K says

    What you can do to make one mom’s day better: talk to her as an adult! Sometimes she just needs that woman to woman time. So often she gets stuck talking to the kids that she forgets what it is like to talk to another grown up. Treat her like the queen she is even – hire a sitter, take her out for a girls night, and just let her relax.

    Reply

  95. Chris Caldwell says

    I tell my sister every chance I get that she’s doing the right thing. Her son was born with a hole in his heart. She had to work and her husband as well, and they depended on family and friends. She felt guilty, but it’s what they had to do.

    Reply

  119. Rosanne says

    My daughter in law had twins after having a 4 year old. I helped with meals, babysitting, grocery shopping, laundry cleaning etc. I knew what it was like as I had 4 sons and not much help.

    Reply

  123. margaret peg m says

    hi, my 2 daughters are now mothers and they struggle w/ insecurities, just like so many others. I tell my daughters to follow their instincts and trust their intuition. And when baby naps, you nap!

    Reply

  136. golden storm says

    you could take care of the children for awhile,,cook her a meal or allow her to do something of her choosing and you are there to babysit,,help or clean,,whatever she chooses

    Reply

  139. Lisa Walker says

    I can make my daughter’s day better by babysitting for her until she finds a sitter she is happy with.

    Reply

  148. Brick Cooper says

    i would tell her how much i love her and how much i appreciate everything that she has done for me, thank her for teaching me everything that she knows to make a better man of me, for helping me till dawn with every homework, for turning every tear into a smile, for never stop loving me even if i was a spoiled kid, and for make me feel secure and in home in any place by just embracing me into her arms also besides telling her that i would treat her like she treated me every single day by cooking her breakfast and taking it to her bed, by taking her out for lunch and for a fancy diner, by cleaning the house for her to relieve all her worries and to finish i will just hug her with all that infinite love that she gave me and more, just saying thanks for doing that sacrifice that means to be a mother and for being pacient and lovely in everything that you did for me and im sorry if i didnt listen to you sometimes i know you just want the best for me, you are just the best mom in the world. thats all 🙂

    Reply

  160. Karen Drake says

    My daughter is a new Mom with a 5 month old baby. I am always telling her how proud I am of her because she is a great mother, her son is happy and healthy and she is doing a wonderful job.

    Reply

  165. Paige F says

    If you see a mom struggling with her toddler in the store, give her a smile. She probably gets sneered at every time she goes out. Let her go in front of you in the line so she can leave faster.

    Reply

  171. Trisha McKee says

    I can give care packages to mothers. I have a friend who is returning to work after having a baby and I’m making her a care package so she’ll see it when she comes in in the morning and helps cheer her up and make the day a little less stressful.

    Reply

  175. K-Squared says

    Rising from that of a new day, start it off by giving a smile and compliment to a mother!From deep in the heart, it’s no wonder that of lifting someones day can make a difference. Being I am the proud son of a single-mother, I know that a child(ren) often put a little stress on their parent(s) so make it a routine help them by lifting their spirit for a day!

    Best of luck to everyone…

    computertech2you@live.com

    Reply

  177. lilshuga2001 says

    I offer my babysitting services to friends and family so they can have a date night with their hubby’s.

    Reply

  182. Melissa B. says

    Some moms just need a break from time to time. Offering to watch the kids for an hour or two can really help.

    Reply

  190. Vikki Billings says

    I could watch the kids for her and while I am watching the kids either do some laundry or cook her family dinner.

    Reply

  194. Sarah L says

    I visit my sister, tell her what a great job she’s doing and then kick her out of the house for at least 2-5 hours.
    Thanks for the contest.

    Reply

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